A Note From the NuVu Writing Coach

September 27, 2017

Dear Students,

As writing coach, I’ll be working with you on The Briefs you write for each studio. My aim is to help you encapsulate—in writing that is clear, grammatical, and compelling—all the thought and creativity you put into the projects you work on at NuVu.

In your Outline and First Draft you will focus on content, the conceptual narrative you are trying to tell to someone who has not been in the studio: the motivation, the challenges, the innovations. In revising, you will focus on style: on crafting sentences that are clear, concise, and varied in structure, and organizing them into paragraphs.

Please read over the assignment carefully before beginning: it is your best guide. Then, before posting each draft, read over the “Composition Reminder Sheet” for grammar tips and reminders—these are based on common errors in past Briefs—and make any corrections you can. Before posting the second draft, be sure you are sending a clean copy with none of my bracketed comments, and be sure to proofread each sentence.

If you are confused about any instructions or grammar points, please send me a note asking for clarification. If I feel you haven’t read the assignment or the reminders or haven’t made an effort to proofread, I will ask you to do so before giving detailed feedback on a draft.

What my feedback will look like: I will provide a mix of suggested edits (crossing out wording and suggesting revised wording in bold) and bracketed comments asking you to push deeper or to read a link on a particular grammar point. I will underline words that are misspelled or mistyped for you to look up and correct.

Remember that this is your writing and your project: if you feel I have suggested wording that is inaccurate or that doesn’t reflect your understanding of your project or your own voice, please make the appropriate changes. Stick to the deadlines, so I can respond in a timely way before you have moved on to a new studio.

Last, to quote David McCullough: “Writing is thinking. To write well is to think clearly. That’s why it’s so hard.”

Looking forward to reading about your next projects,

Rebecca

Composition Reminder Sheet

1. Write in third person: this means no “I/my,” “you/your,” or “we/us/our.” People will be referred to as people, human subjects, users, viewers.

Not: “I designed my project thinking about the way teens use social media.”
Instead: “This project is designed as a commentary on the way teens use social media.”

2. Avoid dangling modifiers: when you try to avoid first person, it is easy to end up with dangling modifiers. For more detail, follow this link: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/597/1/

Example: Walking home, the bag tore. (This implies that the bag walked home.)
Instead: Walking home, I noticed the bag had torn.
Or: While I was walking home, the bag tore.

Note that to avoid first person, this would need to be: On the way home, the bag tore.
Or: As it was carried home, the bag tore.

3. Organize paragraphs by moving from given information to new information. Give us a high level and a visual description of your project before telling us about a particular mechanism within it. See this page for an explanation: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/600/01/

4. Be clear in your logical connections: are two ideas related by addition (also, in addition), example (for example, for instance), cause (as a result, for that purpose), time (next, then), contrast (but, however), or comparison (likewise, similarly)? For more examples: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/683/05/

5. Watch for pronoun references: be sure when you use this, that, these, those, it, and they, the pronouns refer clearly back to something previously mentioned.

6. Proofread for spelling: if you see a wavy red line under a word, look it up to make sure you’ve spelled it correctly. Watch for capitalization and be aware of when to use apostrophes (https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/621/1/).

7. Note when you use that vs. which: https://www.grammarly.com/blog/which-vs-that/

8. When you combine two sentences with only a comma, it’s called a comma splice. For tips on how to avoid, see: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/engagement/2/1/34/

9. Note on where vs. in which: In formal writing, if you aren’t referring to a location of any sort, use “in which.” Don’t write about: a situation where…, a theory where…, etc.

10. Use semi-colons before transitional phrases and a comma after, e.g.: ; however, http://www.grammar-monster.com/lessons/semicolons_before_transitional_phrases.htm

11. The proper term is based on, not “based off/off of”: http://data.grammarbook.com/blog/pronouns/based-off-is-off-base/

12. When you have a list of things, be sure to observe parallelism: https://www.grammarly.com/blog/parallelism/

13. Try to reduce your reliance on being verbs: https://www.stlcc.edu/Student_Resources/Academic_Resources/Writing_Resources/Grammar_Handouts/To-be-Verbs.pdf

14.  Use verbs instead of nouns where possible: “represents” instead of “gives a representation of”

15. When you form a compound adjective (“custom-designed”) you will need a hyphen between the two words. For an explanation and examples see: http://www.grammarbook.com/punctuation/hyphens.asp. For an exhaustive list of hyphenation rules, see: http://www.chicagomanualofstyle.org/16/images/ch07_tab01.pdf

16. Note that “an” rather than “a” is almost always required before words that start with a vowel. For details on the rule see:  https://www.englishpage.com/articles/a-vs-an.htm

The Brief Part 2 - Full Brief

Remember, all documents related to the brief are found HERE. These include a note from the writing coach and the Composition Reminder Sheet.

Now that you have created an document that outlines all of the information you want to relate in the Brief, it is time to weave that information together into a strong narrative that ties together the Why, How and What and Who of your project through clear, cogent writing. Tell the story of how your idea was born, developed, and manifested.

Create 1 post titled “The Brief” in the Writing tab with text that includes the following 2 items, numbered:

1. A 1-2 sentence project description for your transcript. This will serve as the basis of the Project Description that appears in your transcript. This description should not include the name of the project and should be written in the third person. This was Question 1 in your Outline.
   examples:
   Night Light Blankie: A child's sensory blanket that provides comfort and privacy in the high stress environment of the hospital using weight, textures, and light. The blanket transforms into a mini light up fort over a child’s head.
   Cocoon: a shroud that explores human spirituality and the concept of life after death through the use of repetitive religious iconography. Composed of over 300 pieces of laser cut balsa wood lined with space tape, the icons are arranged using a mathematical strange attractor.

2. A 1-2 paragraph brief for your project based on the description below. This will be based off the information you put together in your Outline and should focus on style. The NuVu writing coach will give you feedback and you will have the opportunity to revise this text before the final presentation. The primary purpose of The Brief is to explain, entice, and convince the reader that your project is amazing and important. Imagine your project on display in the Museum of Modern Art. The Brief is hanging on the wall next to your work. In 1-2 paragraphs, a viewer should understand what your project is, why it exists, and how you made it, and who it is for. More importantly, the viewer should be interested and care. You will draw them into your project through a compelling narrative.
   
   Things to think about:
   • Use the information in your Outline. Do not simply put all of the answers together -- you must weave it together into a clear story.
   • The what is a clear statement of the thesis or problem+solution. Your project description for your transcript (#1 above) can be adapted for this purpose.
   • The why explains how your project changes the world. It is the reason your project exists – what social issue is it engaging, who is your project helping, how does the project change the world, and what important social, intellectual, or technical questions does it raise? The scope of the why can vary widely.
   • The how briefly explains what technical prowess, innovative methods, or cool materials you used in your solution.
   • The who explains who will use your design, why they will use it, and in what context.
   • Think of the reader - it is good to imagine that a college admissions officer AND a potential employer in the field of your design should both be able to understand and be excited by the project based on your writing.

Write in the Third person in an explanatory fashion. Resist using I, WE, OUR, or YOU and focus on describing the work.

Here is an example from Penelope the Pain-O-Monster:

Pediatricians and other doctors find it challenging to collect accurate self reported information from children about their level of pain due to lack of communication skills, fear, anxiety, and discomfort. Traditional 1-10 pain scales do not fully address these issues, often leading to uncomfortable children and inaccurate symptom information. Penelope the Pain-O-Monster is a cute plush toy that uses integrated pressure sensors to allow children to express their source and level of pain through play.

A previous project, The EmoOwl, helped children with autism to express themselves by translating motion into color. Penelope the Pain-O-Monster grew out of the desire to expand children’s health menagerie with a different stuffed animal, one that makes the pain charts patients use to express their pain more interactive and easier for a child to use. Because research has shown that playing with stuffed animals can take children’s mind off pain, an additional “Fun” mode was added to distract from pain and anxiety. The handcrafted stuffed animal uses force sensors in different body parts that light up from blue to red depending on how hard they are pushed to show the child’s pain level. The hope is that, as one of many future healthcare friends, Penelope can help sick children feel safer while providing more useful information to care providers.

The Brief - Part 1 - Outline

As part of your portfolio for each studio, you will be asked to write a Brief for your project. The Brief is a written piece that will accompany your presentation and is a strong narrative that ties together the Why, How and What of your project through clear, cogent writing. It tells the story of how your idea was born, developed, and manifested.

For students at NuVu Cambridge, to help you develop your writing, Rebecca, the NuVu writing coach, will provide feedback throughout the process. Rebecca is a published writer, a professional editor, and a teacher of writing. Her assistance is invaluable in developing your written communication skills. She will expect hard work and thoughtful writing and respond with thorough feedback on content and style.

------Copy & Paste this section below into a new post and answer ALL of the questions completely ---- 

The Brief Part 1 - Outline

Answer the following questions in full, complete sentences. Title the post "Brief Outline" and post it in the Writing Tab of your Project. Every student must do this assignment. Cut and paste the assignment below and write your answers below each point. You must respond to ALL items (#4 can be skipped if there is no individual client). Click Shift-Return to start a new line.

1. Write a A 1-2 sentence project description. This description should not include the name of the project and should be written in the third person. 
   1. What is the "soul" of your project? Describe the idea of the project in conceptual terms. This should paint a conceptual picture in the readers mind. (1 sentences)
   2. What is the "body" of your project? Describe the basic technical or physical construction of the project. This should NOT go into excessive detail, just provide an overview. Describe the project to someone with no technical knowledge in as few words as possible. The reader should be able to envision what the project looks like. ( sentences)
      
      Examples:
      Night Light Blankie: A child's sensory blanket that provides comfort and privacy in the high stress environment of the hospital using weight, textures, and light. The blanket transforms into a mini light up fort over a child’s head.
      Cocoon: a shroud that explores human spirituality and the concept of life after death through the use of repetitive religious iconography. Composed of over 300 pieces of laser cut balsa wood lined with space tape, the icons are arranged using a mathematical strange attractor.
2. Why does your project exist? The why explains how your project changes the world. It is the reason your project exists – 
   1. What social issue does your project engage? (1 sentence)
   2. Who is your project helping?  (1 sentence)
   3. How does the project change the world? This can be in a simple physical way or in a complex social way. (1 sentence)
   4. What important social, intellectual, or technical questions does it raise? (1 sentence)
3. Who is the project for? Who will use it and in what context (1 sentence)
4.   If you are designing for a specific person, answer the following:
   1. What is the client's name and what is their medical condition, if any? (1 sentence)
   2. How does their condition relate to your project? Include concise and compelling information about the client you are working with, their condition, and how that relates to your project design. (1 sentence)
   3. What is their personality like and how does it inform your design process? (1 sentence)
5. How does your project work. In non-jargonistic language, answer the following 
   1. What is the basic technology behind your project? (1 sentence)
   2. What is technically innovative about your project? How does it differ from existing technology? (1 sentence)
   3. How does a user physically and mentally interact with the project? (1-2 sentences)